These should be particularly helpful to those who are new to BDSM and looking to explore D/s relationships, as the best way to go about that is to first read everything you can and then read even more! Not only will this allow you to educate yourself, help keep you safe and avoid any potential mistakes or regrets, but also the more you understand something, the less intimidating it will seem.
If you have anything to add, please don’t hesitate to let me know and I will update this list, in particular if there any books that a submissive might find helpful or informative, as most of the books I have read or included are intended for Dominants.
Note: For the sake of consistency and readability, I have used capitals throughout this document and have not used lower case when referring to submissives or slaves.
- Babygirls ‘n’ Daddy Doms: Website dedicated to littles, babygirls and Daddy Doms, with a lot of useful information on the subject.
- Collarme: A free BDSM dating website and community, that is probably the most popular and a better option than the commercial alternatives.
- DS Arts: Academy of DS Arts, fairly self explanatory.
- Evil Monk: Ambrosio’s BDSM Website, featuring many useful articles.
- Fetlife: An online BDSM community that I would highly recommend and which is perhaps best described as Facebook for the kinky, allowing users to create a profile, publish photos or writing and join interest groups where you can ask questions.
- Kink Academy: An online resource with many educational and instructional videos on various aspects of BDSM, although users must pay a small fee to access all of the content.
- Submissive Guide: As the name suggests, this is an online resource for submissives.
- The Iron Gate: A general BDSM online resource, with many articles, essays and even stories on the subject.
Dating and Relationships:
- 10 Principles For Healthy 24/7 D/s And M/s (Source: sexgeek.wordpress.com)
- Finding Your Dominant (Source: asubmissivesjourney.com)
- How To Find A Partner (Source: Jack Rinella / leathernews.com)
- The Unfortunate But Common Misconceptions About DD/lg Relationships(Source: a-lolitas-life.tumblr.com)
- Food Play (Source: bdsmsadomasochism.tumblr.com)
- Initial Steps Into Orgasm on Command Training (Source: submissiveguide.com)
- Tools of Consent in BDSM (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
- Training in D/s – Why? (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)
- Training in D/s – How? (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)
- Training in D/s – Thoughts And Concerns (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)
- Wax Play (Source: bdsmsadomasochism.tumblr.com)
- Basics Of Safe, Sane And Consensual Power Exchange (Source: Molly Devon / the-iron-gate.com)
- Common Sense (Source: Sean R. Powell / the-iron-gate.com)
- Emotional Safety (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
- Offline/Online BDSM Safety Rules (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
- Ouch Is Not A Safe Word: Safe Words, Limits, and Scene Protocol(Source: the-iron-gate.com)
- Rules For Meeting Strangers (Source: Jack Rinella / leathernews.com)
- Safewords and Safesigns 101 (Source: kinkology.tumblr.com)
- S.S.C. VS R.A.C.K. (Source: Justin Medlin / the-iron-gate.com)
Checklists, Communication and Negotiation:
- BDSM Play Partner Check List (Source: Sovereign House / the-iron-gate.com)
- Can I Get That In Writing: Basics of Negotiations (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
- Communication (Source: submissivesupportgroup.tumblr.com)
- If I Ever See Another Checklist I Will Scream: An Extremely Thorough Play Checklist (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
- Negotiation Forms (Source: Jay Wiseman, SM 101: A Realistic Introduction / greenerypress.com)
- What Are Negotiations Good For? (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Sub Drop and Aftercare:
- Aftercare for submissives (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)
- Aftercare for Dominants (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)
- Aftercare for Switches (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)
- Emergency Self-Administered Aftercare (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)
- Sub Drop (Source: David Williams / subshelpingsubs.tripod.com)
- Sub Drop and Aftercare (Source: desires-of-a-domimant-man.tumblr.com)
Dominance and Dominants:
- A Dominant is NOT… (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
- Advice to a Novice Dom (Source: Washington Sexuality University / the-iron-gate.com)
- An Open Letter To A Novice Dom (Source: evilmonk.org)
- Qualities of A Successful Dominant (Source: Polly Peachum / the-iron-gate.com)
- Daddy Doms: They’re Not What You Think (Source: edenfantasys.com)
- Domination for Nice Guys (Source: Franklin Veaux / the-iron-gate.com)
- How To Spot A Non Dominant (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
- Learning To Be A Dom (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
- Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 1 (Source: submissiveguide.com)
- Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 2 (Source: submissiveguide.com)
- Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts – Part One: Dominants (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
- The Dominant (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
- What Is A Daddy Dom? (Source: babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com)
- What Makes A Good Dominant (Source: Kim Debron / kimdebron.tripod.com)
- What Should A Dominant Be (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
Submission and Submissives:
- 10 Considerations For Inexperienced Subs (Source: fortheloveofasub.tumblr.com)
- A Submissive Bill of Rights (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
- A Submissive’s Creed (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
- A Submissive’s Ethics (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
- Introduction To Submission (Source: Kim Debron / kimdebron.tripod.com)
- Learning to Trust Your Instincts (Source: bewildbetruebekinkybeyou.tumblr.com)
- Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts- Part 2: Submissives/Slaves (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
- Some Rules For The Submissive (Source: daddylookingforhisbaby.tumblr.com)
- Ten Tips For The Novice, Heterosexual submissive Woman (Source: Jay Wiseman / the-iron-gate.com)
- Warning Signs for Submissives (Source: RC Bauer / the-iron-gate.com)
- What Is A Babygirl? (Source: babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com)
- BDSM: The Naked Truth by Dr Charley Ferrer
- Dear Raven and Joshua: Questions and Answers About Master/Slave Relationships by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera
- Devil in the Details I: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy – The Master, The Slave, The Power by LT Morrison
- Devil in the Details II: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy – Mastery Refine: The Issues, The Skills by LT Morrison
- Devil in the Details III: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy – Sustainable Structure and Traning by LT Morrison
- Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by William Brame, Gloria Brame and Jon Jacobs
- Living M/s: A Book for Masters, slaves and Their Relationships by Dan and Dawn Williams
- Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice by Robert Rubel
- Master/slave Relations: Communications 401 by Robert Rubel
- Master/slave Relations: Solutions 402, Living in Harmony by Robert Rubel
- Protocols: A Variety of Views by Robert Rubel
- Real Service by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera
- Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Phillp Miller and Molly Devon
- SM101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman
- The Control Book by Peter Masters
- The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren
- The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.
- The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.
- The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge by Tristan Taormino
- This Curious Human Phenomenon: An Exploration of Some Uncommonly Explored Aspects of BDSM by Peter Masters
- Where I Am Led: A Service Exploration Workbook by Christina Parker